Ask Parvati 23: The Voice – To Speak Or Be Silent? Part 4: Gauge The Stage

BY Parvati


(Continued from Part 3: Authentic Communication: From Goo to Grammar)

We are social, expressive beings. We need to connect. We need to touch, to laugh, to wiggle, to create as part of our inherent state of being. But finding out how to express in a way that helps make our message heard is a skill to be learned. How to express in way that is considerate yet not repressive is a point of contemplation. To express with trust, care, honesty and clarity is something most of us need to learn.

How many people give an honest reply when greeted with “Hello, how are you?” Our quip response is usually “fine” or “not too bad”. But what if we replied honestly, openly? Generally when one asks, one is not asking for an in-depth dissertation on how we are doing. We must gauge the questioner’s intention by observing their vocal tone, their mood, their presence and answer accordingly. To answer honestly and be sensitive to the questioner’s intention is a skill we learn.

We have all met people who when you ask them how they are, they go on and on. We have also met those who, when we ask them how they are, we can just tell they are not being honest. In learning to speak authentically, we learn to neither withhold, nor outpour. We learn to find right balance, to express that which feels true to who we are and respectful of others. We also learn to find a rightful place, to feel relaxed in who we are, and welcomed within the whole.

(Concludes tomorrow with Part 5: When To Voice, When To Be Silent)