From Resentment to Forgiveness – Part 1: Touching Painful Emotion
FROM RESENTMENT TO FORGIVENESS AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
At this time of year, as winter begins to thaw, we become aware of new beginnings, renewals, rebirths, and the return of life through spring. However, as the blanket of snow melts and disappears, we may not quite yet see the hope of budding new flowers. Usually we first see murky mud that was hidden just below our frozen sight.
As spring energy moves through us, our bodies begin to crave more cleansing foods like bitter greens and salads. Our psyches too go through a cleanse. Spring energy invites us to see more clearly aspects of ourselves that were hidden from view.
As you may know if you have been reading my blog, I am an avid meditation practitioner. My daily practice is a time of insight and personal integration. It is a way I see deeper without attachment and let go of that which no longer serves. It is a sort of daily spring cleanse and renewal for my body and soul.
PART 1: TOUCHING PAINFUL EMOTIONS
This week, I touched some deeper parts of my psychological basement that I feel were brought to the light of spring so that they could undergo their own process of rebirth and renewal. What arose, as my mind grew quiet, was the awareness of a field of resentment that had been hiding from my sight. So I gently welcomed it, and went deeper into it. After my meditation practice, I wrote in my diary:
“Resentment is a choice that only hurts myself. It does not change the circumstances or the other person whom I may resent. It festers in me like an uncovered wound that swells with rot.”
During my practice, I was present for these emotions. I became aware of a painful incident in my life I had not yet fully integrated. The event had hurt my feelings. So through the process of meditation, I was able to go back to that scene and learn to see the event as it was, without narrative, without attachment, without judgment, and integrate the teachings it had for me all along.
There is no doubt that in this incident, I had not been treated kindly. That was not the question that left me feeling resentful. Instead, I was left wondering what was I to do about the feelings of being hurt. I felt powerless and hard done by and that made me feel resentful.
I will share next Sunday, in “Part 2: Unveiling Resentment: Seeing Clearly”, how I began to deal with these feelings.
Until then, consider some of the resentments you may carry.
Have a great week and enjoy!