Here’s Why You Don’t Need To Fear Your Inner Saboteur

BY Parvati

Welcome back to my series on fulfilling your heart’s desires. For those who have been courageously travelling with me on this journey into the basement of your psyche to discover what unconscious choices may have interfered with your joy, thank you! May you find richer presence and healing through your willingness to understand, witness and release.
The choices we have made over years have carved the lives we have today. Most of these choices were made unconsciously, until we wake up to the story of our lives. We all carry personal tendencies that shape the way we make our decisions. As I shared two weeks ago, we can see these tendencies clearly in the way we reacted to our parents. Whatever situation we may have grown up in, each one of us likely has unique interference patterns that, like an inner saboteur, may be thwarting our joy.
We all carry a saboteur within us until we find the courage to befriend ourselves and get to know our shadows, where it hides. When we befriend ourselves, we begin to listen to the full story of our lives: our hopes and dreams, and the ways we may have denied them to ourselves.
It can be scary and painful to humbly acknowledge that there is a part of us that does not wish for us to be in success, joy, love or interconnection. It may be bitter medicine to admit that we are being wilfully disorganized, choosing to spend our energy in ways that take us off path, being subtly dishonest with ourselves or others, actively cultivating drama, or seeking to replicate a dysfunctional family pattern in our relationships. But these are very common sabotage tendencies. No one is immune to these traits, no matter how much yoga we do or how spiritual we want to be.
If we are to fulfill our dreams, we must acknowledge our shadow, which has a huge impact on the shape of our lives. When we befriend ourselves, we willingly recognize these tendencies in ourselves, without running away, panicking, or judging them. We listen to the little girl or little boy within who holds the secrets to our unfulfilled desires. When we befriend ourselves, we hear our deepest joys and activate the inner courage to realize our true heart’s desires.
An exercise that I include often in my morning meditation practice helps me get in touch with my saboteur. After I have meditated for some time, I quietly breathe in the feeling, the sensation, the reality that all my heart’s desires are fulfilled.
When I first started to do this exercise, I got a sort of blank, “uh, I don’t know” feeling. After some time, my surface joys started to appear. Then I met layers of frustrations, shame, fear, doubt, rage and pain that were blocking deeper joys. I sat with the painful feelings for some time and allowed myself to welcome them all into my heart. When I realized that any interference patterns I may have were created by myself, I realized that I was the one with the power to let them go. I quietly watched and softened to them, without resistance, pushing or pulling at them. No fighting.
After some time in this practice, deeper joys began to express themselves. I felt more abundance radiate through my being. I felt more possibility. I started to allow myself to fully feel what the realization of my joys would feel like, how that would affect every aspect of my life and how it would touch everyone in my life. I let myself expand into the fullness of my heart’s desires.
Every time you do this exercise, you will discover new things about yourself. It is one way you can get out of your own way so that your inner light can shine. It is a powerful visualization that helps you get in touch with your most authentic self and let go of – gently, painlessly and completely – the energies that stand in your way.
It is my belief that the universe patiently awaits you, saying a wholehearted “Yes” to your heart’s desires. All the help you need is right here, welcoming you to step into your fullest joy. I believe that the universe conspires not against you, but in support of you. When you say “Yes” to yourself, you find all the support you need to realize your dreams.
This year, consider saying “Yes” to yourself and your joys by incorporating this visualization – that all your heart’s desires are fulfilled – for a few minutes every day into your life. If you like, keep a journal beside you as you do it so you may jot down what may arise. Go to the source of what you truly desire and get out of your own way so that you may realize it. This practice sets in motion, at a vibrational level, all the support required for your life to be just as you wish it to be.
What was this blog series like for you? What are your heart’s desires? What is standing in their way? What changes can you make today to support them? I would love to hear from you. Please share in the comments below.
Until next week,
Love yourself.
Love others.
Love our world.
We are one Earth family.