blog-image

The Key To New Year’s Resolutions That Work

BY Parvati


Happy New Year and hello 2017! May this year be rooted, vital and expansive in immense joy for you. Thank you for choosing to begin it, in part, here with me. I look forward to sharing more on this blog together as we move through these coming months, in continued support of your most naturally magnificent self.
Many of you want to make lasting changes in your lives. As New Year’s Day comes around, you may feel excited about the fresh possibilities it brings. With a wish for better times ahead, you write a list of the ways this year will be different.
What are your New Year’s resolutions? My resolve this year is for the immediate success of the #unitebylight fundraising campaign so that we can mobilize the exceptional plan we have to realize MAPS: the Marine Arctic Peace Sanctuary by the end of 2018. If you have not yet, please join me in #unitebylight. It is fun, easy and adds so much to the world! All details are at parvati.org.
How did your last year’s resolutions go? Do you find that, as life’s challenges return after the holidays, you feel stumped by things you had hoped would be different? Despite your best efforts, it may seem that New Year’s resolutions just don’t work out. How come?

WANTING WON’T GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT
You may be attempting to do what Einstein said was not possible: trying to solve problems with the same energy that created them. You may feel unhappy, so you want things to change. But wanting is the source of unhappiness, because it comes from a sense of lack. So how can wanting to change unhappiness bring happiness?
When you want what is right here and now to be different than it is, you resist the moment in some way. In so doing, you rob yourself of experiencing the fullness of life. You suffer because you are attached to the idea that this moment should be other than it is.
Like chasing the proverbial carrot in front of a donkey, you can feel that the things you want are always just out of reach, no matter how hard you work, no matter how much energy you put into your efforts, no matter how determined you may be about your New Year’s resolutions. That is because wanting comes from a place within you that feels broken and separate from the whole.

To make New Year’s resolutions, or any changes, that last, you must first understand that though feeling broken or lacking may seem real, it is in essence an illusion. In truth, you are always supported in ways you cannot imagine. You are connected to and a part of a loving universe. You are always loved and never alone, even if you don’t feel that way. When you rest in that understanding, you contact your wholeness, your worth and your inherent goodness. From that place of interconnection, you are capable of making real and lasting change.
But do you feel continually loved? If eternal love is the truth, then why don’t you feel that way all the time? Because you are likely, like most of us, habituated into projecting ideas onto what is happening in your life, trying to create how you want life to be. In a way, you are attached to trying to manipulate the moment to suit your needs. This is like standing on a hose, blocking the flow of love coming your way.
No matter how much you try to change your life, you cannot, without getting real about the nature of wanting.
When you project wanting onto this moment, you continue to feel unhappy, because you are not seeing clearly what is. The problem is not yourself or your life, but your perspective fuelled by wanting.

LASTING CHANGES ARISES FROM JOY
Permanent happiness cannot be built upon mirages, no matter how hard you try. A resolve cannot come from an imposition of your limited ego or will upon life. Such an imposition may provide occasional, temporary and limited effects. But they don’t last because you are working from a divided sense of self.
Trying to make changes sparked by your personal sense of “me” and “mine”, is change driven by wanting. It has limited power. It is manufactured by your ego, which is divided from the whole. A true and lasting resolve comes from clarity, free from wanting and rooted in the knowing that the universe has your back.

When you soften to and meet exactly what is going on in your life right here, right now, you stop running from the past or towards the future. You begin to see your life with greater sobriety and clarity. In realizing that wanting is empty and not the way to lasting change, you stop being attached to its endless cycles that create unhappiness.
Your ego will tell you that if you stop wanting, you will be stuck right here forever in this unhappy place. But the opposite is actually true! By letting go of wanting, you step into your sense of interconnection with the whole. From that place, you contact your deepest joy and your true power, that is connected with divine will. There, your heart’s desires emerge more clearly than ever. You feel inspired to bring them to life.
As you let go of wanting, you create more space in your life to be present for it all. In so doing, you open to yourself and to life. It is then that you stop trying to change everything in life to meet your idea of how things should be. Instead, you contact the divine will that arises effortlessly and potently from your joy.
Feeling rooted, vital and expansive full-body joy is a powerful indicator that you are not in wanting, but have tapped into your interconnected soul voice. Joy is a super-charged motivator for change, because it is fueled by wholeness.
Touching your deepest joy lights the way to your connection with and support from the universe. The universe vibrates at the frequency of joy. Your joy is the universe’s joy. When you contact your joy, not only are you in touch with the whole of the universe, but you tap into its infinite support and resources to realize your true magnificence.

EXERCISE
To experience lasting change, you must be motivated by a place deeper than your limited ego or will. You must be motivated by interconnection and joy.
Between now and next week, when I post Part 2 of this blog series on resolutions, I invite you to do a little experiment. See if you notice the following throughout your day:
Are you in a vibration of wanting and disconnection, or in rooted, vital expansion?
Are you perceiving life in perpetual lack, or abundance and wholeness?
Do you feel you are constantly chasing happiness, which always feels just out of reach?
When you notice you are in wanting, gently remind yourself that those thoughts will not lead to lasting joy. They may appear real and tempting. But think of them as white sugar – seemingly satisfying, only to be full of empty calories with no lasting nourishment.
By truly understanding how wanting leads to suffering, you will let go of being attached to the ideas wanting creates. When you full see how wanting is a mirage, you will no longer give it power. It is then that you set the foundation for lasting change. As you let go of wanting, you make room for eternal joy.
What do you notice about wanting in your life? I welcome you to share your findings in the comments below.
Until next week, remember:
Love yourself.
Love others.
Love our world.
We are one Earth family.
Namaste,
Parvati