Every day, it seems that someone new is speaking up about a secret they carried for many years, such as having been harassed or assaulted by a person in power. My heart is with all those who find the courage to reveal such painful truths. We also see people taking a stand for what they believe in, even if it means displeasing those around them.
Speaking the truth is an act of bravery. Sometimes it is met with criticism, judgment or worse. But when you hide and silence yourself, you can lose touch with the voice of your soul and your true source of power. That is why this week, I would like to explore how we find fearlessness to be seen and speak our truth.
The fear of being truly seen is common. It can manifest as stage fright, self-sabotage, underperforming, social anxiety and more. It has its roots in our past.
As children, we often discovered that hiding was a way to feel safe and protected amidst a turbulent world. Our parents were our source of food and shelter. Our very survival was keyed into making that relationship work. We may have observed that by not speaking up, we kept the peace, perhaps even avoiding abuse. Our coping strategies worked for a while. Perhaps we safely played alone in our rooms, escaping into TV or into the world of our imagination, or we ran free playing at school or with our friends. But when we grew up to be independent adults, the silence we once hid behind started to become deafening.
Every day of your life, you are faced with many choices, whether to flee or to face, whether to voice or to remain silent. There have been times that I have given voice when in hindsight, it would have been wiser for me to remain quiet. And the opposite has also been true, when silence weakened me and I allowed it to hold me captive.
The bottom line is, what other people think of you does not matter. You cannot control what happens in response to your actions – whether someone throws stones or flowers. At the end of your life, when your body turns to dust, it will be your own choices that you will have to face. You will be left with questions like, “Did I love well? Did I live fully?” My sense is that when you are standing at death’s door, the times you held yourself back in fear will seem as though you allowed a cloud to convince you that the sun does not exist.
When you feel you must act, you must. When you don’t say what you need or share who you are, you are living in fear. This life is short. Give yourself the gift of sharpening your inner clarity. See who you are and connect to your unique inner light so that you may shine as a beacon in the world.
Some people may not get it. Some people will. Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you feel alive, plugged in and real. In tapping into such rooted, vital expansiveness, you send a message to the universe of possibility, of interconnection, saying “yes” to life.
HOW TO KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK UP
When you are unsure if it is in your highest good to speak up or stay silent, here is a simple question you can ask yourself to quickly find out:
Does this [thought, speech, action…] make me feel rooted, vital and expansive?
If it feels all three, then I go forward. If not, wait.
Rooting comes from the contact your feet have with the ground, how your energy travels down to connect with the Earth. Once you are rooted, vitality comes from an arising energy that travels up through your spine. You feel expansive when you feel an electricity zing through your body, mostly in your upper body.
The key is, for an action to be in your highest good, you need to feel all three at the same time. When you feel just one, or only two, then balance is not present. When you are rooted, vital and expansive, you are neither too high and light, nor too heavy and stuck; neither too quiet nor too loud, but just right, perfectly you, in balance with who you are.
But don’t just take my word for it. Give this question a test. Apply it to everything you can think of and start tuning into when you feel rooted, vital and expansive. Then notice your life change.
Today and every day, I wish you the fearless joy of being your rooted, vital and expansive self.
Love our world.
We are one Earth family.