Willingness to Disarm the Ego
Continued from Play Small, or Rest in the Love That Always Is
The ego gets high from inflations. It is as though the sweeping statements of “I am unloved” or “I am a failure” actually satisfy the ego. When the ego is inflated this way, it propels you away from the present moment. Why would you do this, when it only leaves you feeling more disconnected and unloved? You use the ego’s drama as a way to hide from something in this moment that you fear is too painful to deal with. Starting with an honest articulation of your uncomfortable feelings, as mentioned last week, helps to keep the ego from blowing them up into devastating absolutes. Such honesty brings with it the light of empowering clarity that fuels incredible personal growth and freedom.
WILLINGNESS AND FREEDOM
If you are truly willing to rest in the love that is here right now, you will find the courage to open and meet this moment with honesty. When you notice that your ego is triggered and starting to inflate a situation into devastating absolutes, you may wish to ask yourself, “What is so threatening or uncomfortable to my ego in this moment that I would rather blow it up than be just be present for it?”
By asking yourself this question, you send love to that which the ego is masking. You welcome that scared, broken, unloved part of yourself into your heart. You rest in the love that already is. You willingly open to this moment that contains within it the potential for permanent freedom from suffering.
Challenging the internal voices that keep you feeling disconnected is a powerful way to rest in the love that already is. You see that the things you thought were so solid and all pervasive are in fact, just a passing attachment, something you have bought into. The great news about realizing that your attachments are just things you have bought into, is that it means you can let them go. How exciting and empowering! If your ego’s voices come up and say otherwise, go back to working the “is this true?” question until you feel a total yes! in letting go of these limiting thoughts. Once you completely understand that they are illusions, you will no longer feel that they have value. Then, you naturally let them go.
When you become willing, you can receive the gifts that any uncomfortable thoughts or emotions bring. In so doing, you transform what once seemed like lead into precious gems of wisdom and compassion. You receive these gifts when you witness the ways your psyche is attached to pain, such as the payoffs you would get if you bought into your ego’s inflated voice.
When you truly understand that the twists and turns of the ego are illusions – however real they may seem – you can see the knee-jerk impulses to feel lousy about yourself as simply the dance of the ego – a cosmic trickster that does not see life with clarity. You can see the voice that says “I suck” as an attempt to play into your ego’s illusions and keep you feeling small, separate from the love that already is.
Now, you don’t believe the ego’s play. The giggle that echoes in the Buddha’s belly grows in yours too, because you know these thoughts are illusions. You know that any notion of being separate from the love that already is only brings you suffering. You can witness your ego at play. You can watch it do its desiring, inflated dance, without attachment, reaction, narration, or judgement. You feel loved. You know you are love. You are the love that already is.
Take every opportunity you can to rest in the love that already is and challenge your ego’s tendency to inflate situations and turn them against you. Next week, I will share more on how to free yourself from shadow aspects of your psyche.