Each of us has the potential for peak moments. With all sense of resistance, fear, and doubt dissolved, we are completely present and engaged with what is before us. We stand in our most natural self, fully alive to the now. Athletes and artists know this place when they are surrendered to their task and time dissolves, the sense of separateness is gone and all that exists is the perfection of what is. Lovers touch this place when life feels as though million-watt bulbs were just turned on and everything bloomed into technicolour. Heroes live this when they throw all caution to the wind and dive into a seemingly impossible situation, experiencing the momentary death of their ego, expanding into the realm of eternal possibility. In it is the source of true self-confidence.

What is self-confidence? It is our certitude in our ability to discern or act. In self-confidence, we are no longer participating in internal conflicts such as doubt or fear. As we stand in inner peace, our actions can take on that potency that awes us in those peak moments. So how do we experience that?
When my grandmother was on her deathbed, I asked her what the meaning of life was. She said to me so wisely: “It is all about being yourself. It is so simple, most people miss it.” We can all get caught up in thinking we “should” be, think, or act in some other way than what feels most relaxed and naturally ourselves. Our true nature is love. Our true capacities are sourced in that place. So we learn to relax more deeply into trusting that divine truth. We continue to allow it to flower within us without second-guessing it.

Self-confidence is not tense, constricted or against. It is not tightening to fight the moment with bravado. It is not about shoring up a limited sense of “me” to face the world. Instead, it is rooted in being our selves, as my grandmother so wisely put it. It cannot come from a willful push, for that will tire and break. It must come from a sincere arising, feeling connected with the ground, our breath and the heavens.

Like a healthy garden, good qualities within us need to be cultivated. We can develop greater self-confidence with the intention to do so. It ultimately begins in how we approach each moment. This can take the form of practical exercises, such as the way we start each day.

What if, for example, we set a clear intention each morning to practice feeling good about being ourselves? What if we made it a point, just as we brush our teeth or fix our hair, to spend time daily in learning to care for, befriend, honour, love and be gentle with ourselves? The specifics of this practice could vary. It could be journaling, or quiet meditation, or mirror work, or gentle yoga, or going out for a jog. The point is that we ensure we are on a healthy basis with ourselves, rooted in knowing our inherent value.

We are often tested in the process of becoming our fullest selves. Only when we face our fears will we be free from them. Only when we stop fighting the dark, will we no longer be afraid to be the light we are. We must not passively let adversity steamroll over us. We wobble. We fall. We get up. We start again. We learn to be both humble and powerful, because we are aligned not to our personal will but to our soul, our inherent worth.
We may feel afraid or challenged and unsure how to make it through. Yet beyond the doubts and the fears, stronger than the power of the obstacles, we learn to touch, and then rest in, the reality that we are guided, that we are not alone, that we are loved. Though the dark may scare us, we know we are beings of light. In this self-confidence, wonders can unfold.

For the next few weeks, we will continue to explore the power of self-confidence, how to deepen it, and what challenges it, so that you can experience the inner peace and outer effectiveness that come from being anchored in your own value.

Between now and then, consider the following questions:

• What is my self-confidence like?
• Where do I give my power away?
• What am I hoping to gain in giving it away? Is that truly working?
• What would my life look like if I allowed myself to feel rooted, vital, and expansive in being my most natural self, the one that is in harmony with the whole, the now, the universe?
• Am I willing to be open to that, just one moment after the next, one breath at a time?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

There is a beautiful quote by the Sufi poet Hafiz, “I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” It speaks to how we strangely get caught up in negative or ungrounded ideas of ourselves and need to return to a healthy sense of self-esteem.
This week, we will explore why this is key to our inner peace and how to know our inherent value.

Imagine that you found your friend depressed or even crying, lamenting, “My face is covered with warts. They’re so ugly and I can’t get rid of them.” But when you look at your friend, their face is perfectly normal, with not a wart in sight. You can’t understand why they are so upset about something that is not real. No matter what you do to try to convince them that they don’t have warts all over their face, they are adamantly convinced that they do.

Seems far-fetched, doesn’t it? The funny thing is, many of us are prone to this tendency in a more subtle way. When I look at people, I see their inherent luminosity and capability. Each one of us is beautiful in our own unique way. We are each magnificent, perfectly interconnected within the fabric of life. And yet we often struggle with self-esteem. Why? Because our sense of self has become tied to the wrong things, and so we get caught up in painful misperceptions.
Low self-esteem is a sign that our spirit needs to return to balance. In order to live fully and serve others, we need to maintain a healthy appreciation for the gift of this life. We need to feel good about who we are and our place in the world.

Healthy self-esteem is not about egotism or conceit. In fact, it is the opposite. Our painful experiences of low self-esteem are caused by ego. When we are in our ego, we believe we are separate. We think we are either better or worse than others. We bolster our sense of self by trying to control conditional circumstances, like doing well at school, getting people’s approval, or having a gorgeous partner. When we do or get the things we feel bring us praise, we feel momentarily good. And when those are lost, we feel terrible.

Life is full of ups and downs. When we hinge our self-esteem upon them, we will inevitably feel as though we are on a roller coaster. We become sick in our hearts, minds and spirits. We could turn to negativity and decide that our inability to make life exactly the way we want it to be means that we have a face full of warts. However, we have another choice.

The self-esteem we need to cultivate for inner peace does not change based on external situations that come and go. That is because it is rooted in self-love: being in conscious connection with the reality that love is our true nature. It reflects the health of our spirit. Since timeless, eternal, ever-present love is who each one of us is at our deepest core, self-esteem knows that we are no better or no worse than anyone or any living thing, but a part of it all.
When we try to make the temporary last forever, we inevitably suffer. Applying a band-aid illusion of being “good”, and feeling down when it fails, can never replace the realization that we have been good all along, as love is who we most naturally are. When we know this, we let go of the struggle and embrace our true value. We are then free to act in a way that brings joy and eases suffering.

To help you unveil the ways your self-esteem may still be tied onto the temporal and passing, try this exercise.

Watch your thoughts as you move through the day. When you do something kind for yourself or for someone else, watch how it makes you feel. Do you feel a sense of self-importance, like “Wow! Look at me. I did good”? Or do you feel the sunshine it brings you and others, and enjoy it as being part of what it is: the light of your true nature?

In the same way, when you notice that you are being praised or criticized, notice how your mind reacts. Are you staying centered in your own value? Or are you grabbing on to the responses of others to shore up your sense of self?

Any time you get caught up in comparing yourself with others, often accompanied with a sense of restlessness for achievement, attention or praise, you are in your ego and ultimately headed for another “why can’t I get rid of the warts on my face” conundrum. However, as you keep your self-esteem connected with the reality of your inherent worth, you will feel unconditionally rooted, vital and expansive. It is only then that you can actually be present for the person or task before you and be truly effective and compassionate. When you choose to stay with healthy self-esteem, the day will feel sunnier, regardless of the weather, because you will have let your inner light shine to illuminate the world.

Today and every day, may you celebrate the light you truly are.

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

Last week, we looked at the importance of self-love for inner and outer peace. How do we cultivate this essential state of heart, mind and spirit on an ongoing basis? It comes when we know that our true nature is love, and when we understand, witness, and release the ways we have been resistant to it. This takes willingness and practice. As promised, I share a guided visualization this week to help you connect with the love that you are.

Try the following every day for at least a week and notice the changes in your life.

1. Find a quiet environment where you feel safe and comfortable to go deeply within for about ten minutes.
2. Lie on your back in a relaxed position. You can either place your feet flat on the floor with knees bent, outstretch your legs entirely, or rest your legs on a pillow if you have low back issues. Your arms are at your sides, palms open. Put a blanket over yourself for warmth if needed. You can also use a small pillow under your head if you find lying on the floor creates neck tension.
3. Close your eyes and move your awareness inward. Breathe quietly. Feel your belly rise with each inhalation, and release as you exhale. Notice the soothing, wave-like quality of your breath, and you breathe in and out in a deep, yet natural manner. With each breath, allow your body to relax and unwind, without falling asleep. As you settle into the ground, notice how the floor reaches back up to hold you. Feel fully supported, safe and relaxed in this moment.
4. Now imagine that a warm, radiant and soothing ruby red light, from the very center of the Earth, rises up through your feet and into your body. It slowly rises through your ankles, legs, and hips, filling your legs full of comforting red light. Feel the red light, its vitality and strength, nourish your every cell.
   Allow it to continue to rise through your pelvis, through your abdomen, and into your heart. Let it rest in your heart. Allow the warm energy of the red light to soothe and fill your heart.
   Then sense or see a pure, crystalline white light descend from the heavens, through the crown of your head, filling your head full of radiant light. This white effulgence continues to flood your every cell, descending through your throat, neck and shoulders, traveling down your spine and through your arms, to rest into your heart.
5. In your heart centre, the ruby red light from the Earth and the crystalline white light from the heavens meet to create a soothing, rosy glow. Allow this pink luminescence to expand through your heart and fill it up. Take a few long breaths here and enjoy this radiant, loving experience.
6. Now allow the rose-coloured light to expand and moves through your whole body/being until you feel your every cell radiant, full of this loving, pink light. The light flows through you and around you, surrounding your body in a beautiful cocoon of pink, loving light. Feel the light move through you, unconditionally nurturing you.
7. Allow yourself to rest here, feeling loved. Breathe love in and out. And as you feel so full of love, your every breath emits love to the world as you repeat: “I am love. I am loved.” Continue repeating this until you feel it resonate in the very core of your being and everywhere.
8. When you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Thank yourself for the practice and move slowly back into your day, with the intention of remaining in this practice, no matter where you may be. You are always love. You are always loved.

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

If you yearn to experience a happier, more peaceful life, begin by cultivating self-love. Perhaps at first self-love may seem like a reinforcement of your ego, or perhaps you dismiss it as a basic act of “self-care” along the lines of eating enough vegetables or getting proper sleep. But self-love is a profound expression of your true nature, and when you honour it, you become the healing our world so deeply needs.

Within each one of us, there is an unbroken tie to the universe, an unending tap that flows with love. But it is as though most of us are standing on the cosmic hose that is sending love our way, while we scratch our heads bewildered, wondering where all the love has gone. This leads to problems, because we are born to experience love. When we do not feel connected with love, we are prone to wanting: seeking love from people, places, and things outside of ourselves. Since wanting is based in a sense of disconnect, it leads to disconnected actions that are against Nature and ourselves. No matter how many steps we take to reduce our carbon footprint, our mental footprint on the planet remains heavy when we do not include ourselves in unconditional love. As such, for the sake of our inner peace and for the good of all, we need to look within at the ways in which we are blocking our capacity to feel love and to feel loved.

Self-love is different from self-confidence or having a strong self-esteem, though they can be related. We are self-confident when we feel certitude in our ability to discern or act. Self-esteem involves a quiet assurance in our place within the whole, a feeling of being a valuable and welcome part of the universe. Self-love involves the ability to treat ourselves with understanding, kindness, and gentle perseverance. Deeper still, self-love involves our ability to know that our true nature is love and that our human destiny is to embody that love and express it in all we do.

Some may associate self-love with being indulgent, narcissistic, or egotistical. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Self-love has no fascination with the notion of “me” or “mine”. Self-love is a sacred thing that honours our highest good and will not enable that which keeps us stuck in our small self. Self-love is humble and vibrant. As we come to sense and serve the universe within ourselves, we are able to sense, love and serve all that is. When we love ourselves, we can truly love others.

Self-love requires a paradigm shift, understanding ourselves as existing within a much greater whole, and feeling connected with that reality. When we allow ourselves to be wholly who we are, we embody the timeless and eternal. Far from being an indulgence, our deepest joy is our way into the realm of possibility, a guiding light into our true, infinite nature.

When we love ourselves, we look at life not as something happening to us, but as a reflection of who we are. We don’t feel separate from people, places and things, but see ourselves within the whole. We feel closer to, even a part of, everything. There is a gentle sense of containment or embrace at all times, no matter what. In this, we feel rooted, vital and expansive, able to participate in life and follow our true joy with openness and courage. We support ourselves and all beings living in interconnection, which is a core requirement for our collective survival.

There is no force “out there” in the universe that is separate from our true self. The will of the universe dances to the rhythm of love and is supported by joy. In essence, our joy is the universe’s joy. We are all beings of love. Let us remember our true nature, set ourselves free, and lighten our footprints on the planet.

Next week, I will share a guided visualization practice to help you cultivate and embody love. Between now and then, consider this with gentle self-honesty:

– Do I love myself?
– Do I live from a place of self-love?
– If not, am I willing to?
– In what ways do I act out a lack of self-love?
– In what ways will I change this now, for the sake of myself and all life?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

There is a time-honoured moment of truth in many heroes’ journeys, where they wish to roar into battle to save the day, and yet they must go inward first – because that is the only place they can find their real power to make a difference.

The truth is that a peaceful spirit holds the key to restoring our global balance. It nourishes our inherent interconnection that in turn influences our every decision. When our thoughts and feelings are centered and healthy, we take healthy actions, which create a healthy world. We must quell the high carbon footprint of our agitated minds and restless spirits in order to survive. And that begins within each one of us, in this very moment. We cannot focus on external change in the world and ignore the necessary internal transformation that makes it possible.

Through the spring and summer, we have been looking at how to support a peaceful mind through emotional presence. On this foundation, let’s take a look at what it means to cultivate a peaceful spirit.

The power of going inward to lay the foundation of external transformation is something very close to my heart right now as I have been in the music studio completing the six albums for GEM: Global Education for MAPS. One of the songs I’ve been working on is called “Go Supernova” which clearly embodies that message. Astrophysicists know any star that bursts into light through the universe must first go inward. So I have been very much thinking about the internal process that supports our luminous worldly expansion.

In order to explore what a peaceful spirit means, perhaps we should begin with the question, what is spirit? The word spirit comes from the Latin word spiritus, which means both spirit and breath. Life and spirituality are inextricably interwoven. Spirit is that part of us which is interconnected with all that is. It is the luminous fabric of life, the energy that radiates around us and touches all we may encounter.

Having a peaceful spirit means being in harmony with this fabric, aware that we are part of it. As such, our spirit is peaceful and healthy when it is in balance with Nature. This means that we understand our interconnection and our inherent value as integral aspects of all that is. It also means we are ready to serve, because to do so is to serve our own self. A peaceful spirit means to be present in the world and to humbly care for it.

Over the coming weeks, we will look at important elements to a healthy spirit, such as self-love, self-confidence, self-esteem, love, forgiveness, patience and compassion. When we honour these, we not only connect with our true potential, we also transform how we relate to the world around us. It is then that we embody the very change that the world so desperately needs and that Nature is urgently summoning.

I recognize that there is a lot we could feel down about these days. I firmly believe that we must, for the sake of our very survival and that of all life on Earth, stay buoyant, open and courageous. Nature itself is asking this of us – to go within and change – even to the point that we have all had to shut down and seclude through this pandemic. It was no accident, but the effect of our actions for years. We must not take it as something against us, but as an opportunity for growth. What we did before in exploiting Nature, and hence ourselves, was not working. If we emit any carbon and have any agitation in our minds, we are part of the problem, and therefore are part of the solution. Let us continue to evolve together for the sake of our own happiness and of that of the world.

In preparation for this beautiful transformation, open to this new avenue of investigation by asking yourself the following questions with as much honesty and care as you can:

– In which way can I cultivate a more peaceful spirit?
– Am I willing to do that? How come?
– How would my life change if I did?
– How would my environment change?
– What would remain if I did not?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

One of the biggest obstacles to peace we can face is found in our painful emotions and the way they can pull us down when we are not willing to be present for them. Over the past several weeks, we have looked at nine particularly painful emotions and how to understand, witness, and release their turbulence in order to find ease and freedom. This week, as we prepare to move forward into the next chapter of “Finding Your Inner Peace Sanctuary”, we sum it up.

Being honest and present for your emotions is key to finding your inner peace sanctuary. You may not like to see that, for example, you don’t feel happy all the time – but there is nothing gained in denying or judging your feelings.

If you notice you are experiencing painful emotions, remember that if you have been following along, you know how to deal with them now. You need to practice the three steps of transformation—understand, witness, and release. You understand that they are not ultimate reality, just passing clouds that temporarily eclipse the light of the sun, which is your true, luminous nature. Then you witness your feelings just as they are without adding any story to what is. As you understand and witness, release happens automatically because you no longer give painful emotions power.

Here is a summary of nine emotions that can challenge us most. As you read through them, ask yourself, do you identify with any of them? How are they currently affecting your life? Then make a firm resolve to become more aware of them, so that you can practice letting them go. Each of the emotions below is linked to the full post in which I treat it in depth, so that you can access the support you need to face and be free from it.

• ANGER: In anger, we react unconsciously. Primal instincts kick in and we are convinced that the problem is “out there”. When we feel angry, we attack, because we feel attacked. We feel unsafe. We are in our ego, and not in balance with our true nature and the universal whole.

• DEPRESSION: When we ignore or judge what we are feeling, we often find ourselves sinking into depression. This is an aspect of our human psyche that calls for deep and compassionate self-honesty.

•  DESPAIR: We feel the hopelessness of despair when we co-create in the impossibilities to such an extent that we are now in undertow. When this happens, we need to immediately understand we are enabling illusions and redirect our thinking.

• RESENTMENT: Resentment is like a broken record. We feel painful emotions over and over again that keep us tied to our past. For some reason, our ego has us convinced that this is a good thing to do. But as we re-sent, feeling painful feelings repeatedly, ultimately, we suffer and don’t live in health, joy and peace.

• JEALOUSY: To free ourselves from jealousy, we need to have the humility to see that it reflects the ways in which we are invested in scarcity and disconnect, and misperceive our place in the world. Given that we each are integral parts within the abundance of Nature, these thoughts cannot be true.

• JUDGMENT: No one likes to feel judged. The idea of being seen as less than the wonderful beings we hope to be can trigger feelings of inadequacy and fear. When we feel judged, our knee-jerk tendency is to judge in return. Yet, this only perpetuates pain. Whether we judge ourselves or others, or we are reacting to someone’s perceived judging of us, we are disconnected from our true nature and the unconditional love from the universe.

• PRIDE: Pride has two faces: feeling better than or less than another. When we identify with feeling “I am so great” or “I am no good”, as though either were who we are, we rob ourselves of the authentic experience of being and block ourselves from true abundance.

• SHAME: Shame comes from a feeling of being fundamentally flawed, unlovable or broken. Many people struggle with feelings of shame and self-disgust. Because hiding supports shame, it’s important to remember that the more you avoid it and the painful feelings you feel around it, the more it grows.

• FEAR: To let go of fear, we must learn to see it as it is: a reaction based on old stories that have no power other than what we feed them. We must learn to see it for the illusion it is, rather than push it away and act with false confidence or succumb to it out of reserved trepidation.

If you feel unsure or unclear about anything you have read so far, please feel free to ask! I am happy to respond. Someone else reading along, now or in the future, might have the same question as you.

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

When I began this workshop in the summer of 2019, the virus responsible for COVID-19 did not yet have a name and no one knew what would happen when it jumped into human lungs. Today, our world looks very different. The way we live, work, shop, and stay healthy has changed. Even if we and those we love are not directly affected by the coronavirus, we may never experience life quite as we used to. The question is, will we give up and become cynical, despaired and discouraged, or will we be inspired to commit more deeply than ever to health at all levels, including inner peace—for our own sake and for the good of all? Both options are available to each one of us. The power is in our hands.

This spring, around the same time as the lockdowns first took effect all over the world, we started a new chapter in this workshop, looking at what it means to have a peaceful mind. We each have the potential for the radiant steadiness of a calm, clear inner lake. Yet somehow, especially in times of difficulty, our minds feel more like a turbulent sea. This is because of the sorry stories that disrupt our clarity, such as the following:

• “NOT GOOD ENOUGH”: To perceive ourselves as not good enough is to believe we are separate from the natural world and the universe, in which we are born and grow. Yet these are each bountiful and compassionate. In this light, feeling not enough is understood as a lose-lose and a self-fulfilling prophecy that will only perpetuate feelings of scarcity.

• “NO ROOM FOR ME”: To enable the “no room for me” sorry story means that at some level, we feel that we don’t have the space, or even the permission from the universe, to be our most natural self. But as we have been exploring, nothing could be further from the truth.

• “GOTTA GET IT RIGHT”: The “gotta get it right” sorry story can be used an excuse to justify lack of engagement today. While fantasizing about how great life will be in the future once you get your life right, you miss the richness of what is before you. It is a proud bravado that often masks a deep sense of weakness, agonizing loneliness and brutally low self-worth.

• “I SUCK”: We may rationalize or minimize this tendency, thinking that negative self-concepts are better than being excessively proud, or that they only hurt ourselves. But neither of these is true. There is essentially no difference between “I suck” and “I’m so great”, because both are expressions of our ego.

• “HAPPENING TO ME”: When we identify with this sorry story, we mistakenly believe that other people or situations are the cause of our pain. This thwarts our growth. We blame. We resent. Rather than making positive changes in ourselves, which lead to making healthy decisions in the world, we revel in struggle and act out our suffering on those around us.

When we understand that these sorry stories are based on the illusion that we are not within a compassionate and supportive universe, we can witness them playing out in obvious and subtle ways. In gratitude for the opportunity to see and heal from these painful tendencies, we consciously choose to let them go.

To integrate what we have learned so far, consider the following:

• Is my mind clear and calm? How much of the time?
• What do I need to do to support a calm, clear mind on a regular basis?
• What are the sorry stories that keep me most stuck?
• Am I clear about the three steps of understanding, witnessing, and releasing, and am I practicing them moment to moment?
• When I apply this process to my sorry stories, what does that look like?
• Am I open, ready, and willing to do that as often as I need in order to feel greater inner peace?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

In some ways, COVID-19 has been a great equalizer. It has shown those of us who have known relative safety our whole lives what others in more challenging circumstances have always known: not even our next breath is guaranteed. Death can happen at any time. Of this, we have no control. The question is, knowing this now, how will we choose to live: in openheartedness, or in fear? As we experience the ups and downs of an ongoing pandemic that has claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands, we are being asked to look at the world with fresh eyes and consider the role fear plays in our inner and outer worlds.

As you may know, I made a life-changing journey to the North Pole a few years ago that ultimately inspired the creation of Parvati Foundation and the Marine Arctic Peace Sanctuary (MAPS). During the preparations for the trip, I had visions in my morning meditations of danger awaiting us, specifically that our plane could crash. With poor visibility due to increased fog from rising temperatures and melting sea ice, I knew it was a real possibility. Even so, I needed to go. I chose to not let fear interfere with the surrender I felt the trip was asking me to practice and the sincere calling it felt to be. And so, I sat with this for a few days, making peace with the possibility of death on the journey.

When I met Inuit elders in the High Arctic who told me they had known I was coming, I shared with them what I had seen. The older of the two women said to me, her dark eyes stern, that she had seen it too. But she added, “Now that it has been spoken, it has no more power.” I felt the truth in her words.

Fear is one of our strongest emotions, and the hardest to hide because of its physical impact. When our minds anticipate a threatening situation, our bodies go into a fight/flight/freeze reaction. As our adrenal glands release adrenaline and cortisol into our bloodstream, our heart rate and breathing intensify, and glucose is diverted into our muscles to give us a boost of energy to fight off a predator or flee for our lives. These changes can also lead to a wide range of symptoms that include sweating, trembling, flushing of the face, dry mouth, gastrointestinal upset, short-term memory loss, a quavering voice or stammering speech, and in the extreme case disorientation or hyperventilation.

Fear is natural and can be an ally. It heightens our awareness and can keep us safe from danger. When met with wisdom, fear ensures we do not stick our hand into a hot fire. Similarly, because we don’t want to get sick or give disease to others during a pandemic, we put on masks, wash our hands and follow other guidelines to prevent the spread of COVID-19. These are expressions of compassion and responsibility.

But just as fear can debilitate us physically, it can harm us mentally. When fear becomes so loud that it consumes our minds and becomes fuel for a sense of life “happening to me”, or we talk ourselves out of living our highest good, we must stop, regroup and change the way we deal with this emotion.

Life will always be unpredictable. The wise teachers in many spiritual traditions remind us that the only moment we can live in is the present moment. Some mystics even go further to express how fear is an illusion based on a false perception that we are limited beings. In essence, we are timeless energy, only temporarily inhabiting human form. Not even death itself is to be feared. For one, it will happen eventually, and two, it is not the end of who we are, but merely a change from one state to the next. Whether we take a spiritual or psychological view of fear, how we manage it makes the difference between those who are taking wise actions for a meaningful life, and those who are still feeling stuck in a fight/flight/freeze pattern.

I am personally fond of a popular reverse acronym for fear: False Expectations Appearing Real. I find it quickly puts into perspective that fear is just a misperception. Based on unresolved past experiences, we tend to form ideas—sometimes catastrophic ones—of what may happen in this moment. In our journey to inner peace, we have a choice. We can give power to fear or we can let it go. If we are to let it go, we must learn to see it as it is: a reaction based on old stories that have no real power other than what we feed them. We must learn to work with fear in the present, rather than push it away and act with false confidence or succumb to it out of reserved trepidation.

To overcome deep fears takes humility, resolve and self-kindness – a softening. It means looking within to understand your inner patterning and make different choices. When you can accept that you feel afraid, you can treat yourself with the appropriate patience and tenderness.

Just as with any emotion, when we try to run from fear, it follows us. When we sink into it and become identified with it, we lose ourselves in it. Either way, it grows. Instead, we can learn to welcome fear and simply be with it. When we are present and stop fighting it, the energy that feeds it subsides. Like the vision that I had of a plane crash, fear loses its power when it is openly acknowledged. We understand the falsehood of our expectations. We can then witness our tendency to cling to them. Eventually, as we no longer feed our fear, we find the wisdom and compassion to let it go altogether. When we do so, the energy that was once trapped in it is liberated for creative, joyful purposes, and inner peace flowers in our hearts and minds.

PRACTICE
• In this moment, what am I afraid of?
• Is it real?
• Is it happening?
• Is there any benefit in this fear?
• Is there anything this fear is costing me?
• What healthy action can I take in this situation?
• Am I willing to practice the three steps of transformation (understanding, witness and release) to overcome the fear?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati